After reading where I last left off on this blog, I thought my busy life would soon calm down as my children became more independent. I expected less involvement with their schools...the last thing kids want is to see their mom in the hall at high school....right? I thought things would slow down so much that I let the kids get a dog. This dog:
Her name is Toddy Cotton. She is a barking, peeing on the carpet, popping on the rug, chewing the furniture, sleeping in the beds, relentlessly begging kind of dog. Her nickname is Poor Baby Toddy, or the PBT for short. It's a good thing she's cute. And does tricks.
After we adopted the PBT, I really went crazy and decided to back to work. I got that J.O.B. that I had been mulling over for years. On August 4, 2014, the curtain went up on Act 2. I found the Perfect Job: 4 exits from my house, covered free parking, three weeks vacation, free cokes in the fridge, paid insurance, no stress, super nice co-workers, great pay. Yes, I hit the "job lottery" and I know it.
Then things went SERIOUSLY sideways.
My mother got sick in December 2014.
She died January 18, 2015 at 11:30 pm.
My world changed forever. My steel magnolia is gone. I cannot write about the all consuming loss and grief I feel for the loss of my mother. I cannot write about the instant overwhelming obligation of taking full responsibility for my special needs adult sister. I cannot write about the impact this has had on my children and husband.
My special needs sister, Turtle, moved in with my family on January 26, 2015.
My aunt (my mother's only sibling) passed away in June.
Big Daddy's grandmother passed in July, on my birthday.
My sister-in-law's father-in-law passed away in August.
One of Skibbie's friends was killed in a car accident in September. HEART WRENCHING! I know I don't have to explain one bit to anyone who is a parent.
I can throw in additional despair like lots of car trouble, general house dis-repair and grime, and a dog who constantly poops and pees on the rugs, but that would make my life start to sound like a country song. It's been a very long year. You know the kind...when every month feels like a year. The kind of year where you look back and think, "How did I ever make it through?"
I wondered why God gave me this wonderful job when all I was doing was taking time off to go to the hospital and funeral after funeral and appointment after appointment for Turtle. He knew I would need it. The job forces me to get out of bed every day. It forces me to make arrangements for day care for my sister and transportation and other services for her. The job gives me an excuse to leave my dirty house. It forces me to chose wisely about how I use my time.
I have quickly discovered that I can't do all the things I used to do. Suddenly I have my sister, a person who will perpetually be a second grader, in the house. There are limited services for her that require unlimited paperwork.
I have discovered that I have the most amazing friends. After mama died, I came home to a full refrigerator, a clean house, and three weeks of hot meals coordinated. One friend came to my house every weekday morning for 4 months and took Turtle to the program du jour. She has angel wings under her tank top. She still drives Turtle when I get in a pinch.
I also have the most amazing family. My daughter has become her aunt's chauffer, hair dresser, stylist and general after-school caretaker. Big Daddy has been beyond amazing. Let's face it, who signs on for this kind of craziness? Big Daddy watches Turtle when I need to go out of town with the kids. He tucks her in a night if I am too tired. He will drag her along on errands. I struck the husband lottery, and I know it.
Action has struggled with all this quite a bit. He was very close to my mother and he misses her greatly. Turtle is trying to take his place as the baby of the family. He's a teenager. It's a perfect storm to create a turbulent home life for him.
My mother-in-law has filled in where ever we have needed her. My sister, Delaweird, came down for a week so my family could go on vacation AND planned a very cool 18th birthday party for Skibbie.
So where are we today? Struggling to find our new normal. Things get slowly better each day. God is working His plan. It is very, very slowly unfolding. We are forced to be patient. We are on God's time. Patience is hard, especially when you are the blow-n-go, get-er-done kind of people we are.
I am looking forward to 2016. Looking back is too hard.
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