This must be the slow season in my job, as it is the first time my blog has come to my mind since around this time last year. I was reading my last post and reflecting on everything that has happened in the last twelve months, and honestly, the last 2 years. The end of 2015 and most of 2016 continues to be about change, new beginnings and finding a new "normal".
Just when I thought things had somewhat leveled out at home, another realization came to my mind: my oldest child who was my daily after-school caretaker to Turtle, was a high school senior. She wouldn't be home to help me much longer. After all, she planned to graduate and go to college. That epiphany put me in high gear to find a more long-term care solution for Turtle. Our hectic daily lives didn't suit Turtle's need for routine and an unchanging schedule (Have you ever seen someone melt down because they couldn't watch "Wheel of Fortune" since we have to go to a soccer game?). With Divine Intervention (literally, prayers answered), I was able to find a residential placement for Turtle in a home 3 hours away. I compromised between a placement in a close location for staff experience with her syndrome. Her condition, PWS, is complicated. My ability to drive to see her is not. She moved in February 12, 2016. It has been a big adjustment for her. She's been bounced around quite a bit in the last 18 months (from Mama's house to my house with various daily programs to finally a group home with various roommates). Turtle has finally been given a private room. Along with it, she seems to have come to the realization that Mama is dead and that means she will never live in Mississippi again. She will never have the life she had before. Turtle has been acting out now and again. She had a veiled attempt at a running away, which was actually a ploy to buy herself a diet coke. If Diet Coke was a drug, Turtle would be an addict. In order to help keep Turtle from going off the deep end, Delaweird visited in July and staycationed with her. I try to make the trip to see her or bring her home for every holiday. There have been bumps along the way, but she is slowly adjusting.
With Turtle establishing her independence in her new home, I was left to focus on the rest of Skibbie's senior year and Action's freshman year. Action's dance partner decided to move on to another partnership. It gave him a chance to re-focus his efforts on his own dancing. He decided to audition for the Performing Arts High School in Big City (think "Fame"). He was accepted, so we had to make the decision to sell our house in Little Town in order for him to attend. It was a hard choice, but it was the right thing to do for him.
Summer brought Skibbie's high school graduation and her first foray into her intended college major, interior design. We decided to flip our own house in order to get the most money for it, so a master bathroom reno and several other projects all over the house were started. We hired contractors and Skibbie basically ran the project each day while we worked. She and I shopped on the weekends during June for our house and her dorm room. On July 7, we moved our sweet Skibbie into her dorm room so she could start the next chapter of her life as collegiate athlete. She started classes and working out in order to be ready for soccer season.
On the home front, Action had to take over contractor management duties after Skibbie left for school (thank goodness he had already been to scout camp and dance camp). The reno was finally completed and we listed the house for sale at the end of July. Action helped us get packed up and moved out of the 4900 sq ft big house in Little Town to the 2100 sq ft tiny townhouse in Big City. We moved in Aug 20....2 days before school started. Nothing like waiting until the last minute.
So, where are we now?
-The big house in Little Town is still on the market. Half of our furniture and all of our junk is still in it. I have no idea what we will do with all the stuff when the house sells.
-Action loves his new school. He's with "his people". The teachers are fabulous. It really was the right choice.
-Big Daddy and I have shorter commutes to and from work. Since I get home at a decent hour, I've even started cooking dinner. Big Daddy uses his free time to figure out how we can go to every soccer game possible. Tiny townhouse has 10 sq ft of grass that can be cut with a weed eater and no pool. Big Daddy has lots of free time.
-Skibbie is loving college life and playing college soccer. I will be lucky if she comes home at Thanksgiving. She doesn't miss us at all. We miss her terribly. Skibbie will have to navigate her way to our new house. She has never set foot in the place where we live now. She has no memories here. Her memories were created at a big house in Little Town. It's the people and friends that we love, with whom we share those memories, that make a place "home".
Now that Action drives, I find myself with free time. I am trying to decide how to get involved at his new school. The PTA/Team Mom withdrawal symptoms are real. I have started reading again (okay, it's the books he's been assigned for English, but it's still reading).
I am looking for a new normal in this new place. I have discovered that change is necessary. The train track that runs by tiny townhouse reminds me constantly that things keep moving (at all hours, but that's another blog post).
I am trying not to Look Back.
I am trying to Look for What's Next.
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