Do you have a cup of coffee? Come sit down and let's have a little Girl Talk.

I have a secret.

It's a good one, too.

Come closer so I can tell you......

Are you ready?

I have a boyfriend.

And he's HOT!

Don't worry. I'm not in trouble.

Big Daddy knows about my boyfriend. Big Daddy doesn't mind. He doesn't feel the least bit threatened. Or betrayed.

'Cause the problem is this.....


my boyfriend doesn't know that I exist.


Here he is now.....


Isn't he beautiful? He sings, you know. He can dance, too. And he acts. He was in Hope Floats. I love that movie.

We've had this affair for about 17 years. I met him around the same time Big Daddy and I first met. He was with Big Daddy and me on our first date. Big Daddy and I saw him in concert - once in Pensacola and once at Jazzfest. It was the least we could do. After all, he was at our wedding.


I just love those blue eyes and that dark hair. His wife must like those qualities too.

Now he wasn't my first affair, mind you. Oh no! I've had a few before him. I would say that I've been around the block a few times, but that implies something more than the relationship I've had with these fellas. Our relationships were deep even though they were one-sided.

They wrote songs for me - just like Harry does. They danced for me - just like Harry does.

When I was in high school, my boyfriend was...

you got it - Rick. I was Jessie's girl. I was dating a guy named Jason at the time - that's close enough, right? Rick was sweet, but when a girl goes off to college, things just somehow end.

He wasn't bitter.

Before Rick, when I was young and just about to start junior high, there was John. He two-stepped right into my heart.



Don't you love the Black hat? The dimple?

Bud? Are you calling me? I'll let you call me Sissy!

Things didn't work out with me and Bud. My daddy was "in oil, and all that it implies."

So that leaves my first love! An elementary crush.....pure puppylove.


Oh Shawn! What happened? You promised to come right into my bedroom and sweep me up off my pink shag rug. We would pack my Barbies and play with Ken at your house. We would live happily ever after!

Alas.....my affair with Harry goes on. Mrs. Cutillowitz will see him next Friday night in NYC. She promised to say hello for me. I love when he sings those Christmas songs. I know he knows they're my favorite. He'll be thinking of me, for sure.