Why do I throw parties?

I throw parties to use my good napkins and those fancy soaps in the guest bathroom that are molded into shapes. I have some soaps that are individual use - each soap is a paper thin leaf that you use once and it disintegrates in your hand. But I didn't tell anybody that, so they didn't use them, because the little things don't look like soap. They look like leaves in a dish on the vanity.

I don't throw parties to show off any food that I cook. As a matter of fact, I try to make something that I have cooked a thousand times because I know I will be in a rush trying to find the perfect dish to hold my leaf-soap and I won't have time to cook anything that requires I concentrate on following a recipe. Good plan, right?

I need every ounce of concentration to cook ANY food. Even the one I've made a thousand times. The dish I made last night was red beans and rice. Very simple comfort food. All you need is kidney beans, onion, garlic, salt and bay leaf (Big Daddy puts celery, but I don't like that). Throw it in the crock pot around noon and you're good to go for supper. Now if you've ever made red beans and rice, you are probably asking yourself right about now, "Hey, what about the sausage?" That's what I was asking myself 15 minutes before my guests arrived.

I forgot to put in the sausage.

The sausage was still in the freezer.

Skibbie was helping me get everything ready when I realized what I had done. Oh man! I always do this. I always forget something. What am I going to do now? I barked at her to get the sausage and put it in the microwave. We nuked it, cut it up and threw it into the pot.
And prayed.

When the ladies arrived, I poured wine. We drank and talked. Then we had another glass of wine. I was stalling until the sausage had time to absorb some of the flavor. I needed the sausage to absorb the flavor. Why you ask? Because I also messed up the rice. I cooked it too long, then gave it the kiss-of-death by stirring it. So I had a big clump of mushy rice that needed to be covered up by Fabulous Beans and Sausage.

My guests were gracious and ate my goopy rice covered with the beans and forgotten sausage.

Thank goodness these people are my friends, and don't judge me by my cooking. Although they are probably wondering why I don't have any soap in my guest bathroom.